You know, you can rent Segway scooters at a little shop at the Pike, down in Long Beach. Yeah, the expensive self-balancing ones.
I did that once, with my best friend Chris. They're hilarious machines; incredibly fun to ride but kind of embarrassing, like a Ferrari with dicks painted all over it.
I don't even think they have batteries; my guess is they figured out some way to turn your dignity directly into electricity, as soon as you get on. And then you never get any of it back.
I think you could actually attach sparkly handlebar streamers on one of those and no one would even notice.
Which is kind of remarkable, if you think about it.
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