GUNS GUNS GUNS BIKES BIKES

I just saw Princess Diaries 2, and then came home to find that someone had rented Hidalgo, and it was just starting, so I ended up watching it and right now I'm not liking movies very much.


The Princess Diaries was crap. It was such total cheese that I put my hat back on 10 minutes into the film to minimize the chances of being recognized, even though there were only 2 other people in the entire theatre. I actually cringed at a good number of lines in that movie, and truly felt sorry for Julie Andrews throughout the whole thing. It must have hurt, being in a movie like this after doing, say, the Sound of Music. Actually, forget The Sound of Music: it must have hurt being in a movie like this after doing The Princess Diaries 1.

The Princess Diaries 2 gets a rating of $2.00

The sappy factor had me walking out the theatre with a smile on my face, though, which is more than I can say for Hidalgo. Egads. I was checking my watch constantly, hoping this seemingly longer-then-the-3000-mile-race-it-depicts marathon of a film would end, so I could sleep, or eat something, or watch Jon Stewart fail to be funny about the Presidential election. We were rooting for Viggo to shoot the horse when it got injured, and then fell silent in defeat when it got back up and kept going. Hidalgo could have been made much shorter, if they had cut out all the-
No, scratch that. It could have been made the optimal length by not making it all.

In any case, knowing what I know now, you would have to pay me to see Hidalgo. At my current job's pay rate, that comes out to $33.43, plus $2 for gas.

I give Hidalgo, therefore, a rating of -$35.43